7 Ways to Recharge When You’re Feeling Drained of Social Energy

I’ve just finished my first week on call at my new job as an undertaker. Life took an unexpected turn as I embarked on the role of ‘part-time’ undertaker a couple of months ago. I’m shattered and my social energy is shot.

Even though I only had one callout in the early hours, the anticipation, the new experiences and the general emotional toil has really drained me this week.

Social Energy Depletion

Recharge Your Social Energy

Times like these require me to set aside more time for recovery. It’s not just physical; it’s my emotional, mental, and social energy that have taken the hit.

There are many activities that can help the recovery but they require the motivation to choose them. The right choices are not always the default choices.

Not only that, but choosing how to spend your time can be draining in itself, especially when you feel like you have less of it and need to make the right decision. I don’t know about you but half the battle is making a difficult choice and going against the easy thing in favour of the right thing to do.

How do you re-charge your social energy when it’s depleted?

1. Make Something

For introverts and many highly sensitive people we create social energy when we are alone. For it to be most effective however, these moments of solitude will be intentional. Nothing is more energising than actively and intentionally creating or making something.

Write, cook, play music, draw, sculpt, garden, knit, sew.

The feeling of progress, of seeing something develop in our hands, is great. Whether it’s a small contribution to long term project or something you can create from start to finish in a few hours (like this blog post), there is as much mental reward in the process of doing, as we might find when we reach the destination.

2. Take a Break from Certain Technology

If you charge your phone while using it, the battery takes longer to restore.

Likewise, there are certain aspects of modern life that prevent us from charging effectively that we maybe don’t even consider. Like being plugged in and accessible to a global network of people right from our pockets 24/7.

You’re getting pings from various social networks, texts, calls, and emails. Not to mention the underlying fear of missing out, the compulsive, mindless checking of news feeds, and pressure to think of something witty or interesting to share with the world and remind them you still exist.

If we’re not aware and intentional about actively unplugging from these tools from time to time, we will never get our social energy back close to 100%.

Are there particular devices that you use which mean you can’t step away from the noise? What are they?

3. Breathe

In their book, “The Healing Power of the Breath” Richard P. Brown, M.D. and Patricia L. Gerbarg, M.D. talk about how we can voluntarily change our breathing and send messages to our brain to then change how we feel in certain situations.

By voluntarily changing the rate, depth, and pattern of breathing, we can change the messages being sent from the body’s respiratory system to the brain. In this way, breathing techniques provide a portal to the autonomic communication network through which we can, by changing our breathing patterns, send specific messages to the brain using the language of the body, a language the brain understands and to which it responds. Messages from the respiratory system have rapid, powerful effects on major brain centers involved in thought, emotion, and behavior.

By learning to voluntarily control our breathing we can build up an archive of responses to different situations. If we are able to respond to stress in this way the brain will aid us in our recovery.

4. Exercise

When you exercise you enhance the blood flow, which increases the flow of oxygen and nutrients to muscle tissue, and thus improves their ability to produce more energy.

How often do we say no to exercise because we don’t have the energy?

The truth is, exercise actually creates energy. When it’s the last thing we feel like doing it’s one of the first things that will help. Whether it’s a visit to the gym, a dip in the pool, or simply a brisk walk around the block, exercise will have you feeling more energised.

It can also have an additional impact (similar to creativity) when you are making progress towards a meaningful goal.

5. Guilt-Free Lounging

There is nothing wrong with lying on the sofa and watching a film, taking a nap, or reading a book. This is often exactly what is needed.

If you’re anything like me however, you find it hard to allow yourself to do this without feeling guilty. You have a constant nag in the back of your mind saying you should be doing something else (something more productive).

If so, block out time on your schedule, specifically and intentionally allocated to guilt and objective-free lounging. Commit to doing nothing. It can have a wondrous impact.

6. Actively LISTEN to Music

Music has an incredible restorative power. When you connect with a piece of music in a deep way it can provide enormous waves of energy.

When was the last time you really listened to a piece of music? I don’t just mean hearing it, but truly listening to it without doing anything else at the same time. According to Frank Fitzpatrick, the benefits of actively listening to music impact our emotional, physical, mental, social, electrical, neurological, spiritual, energetic, and chemical wellbeing. So don’t overlook this one.

7. Plan

Organising, planning, and getting back behind the wheel of your own life can restore a feeling of control over your energy. Be aware of your calendar. Knowing what will be required of you over the next seven days can have a hugely positive effect.

You might not consider yourself an ‘organised’ person. But if you’re not sure how your time looks there may well be an underlying and unconscious energy-depleting level of stress occurring.

Designing your ‘ideal week’ or planning the next seven days at the start of each week will stop you from using unnecessary energy on this kind of anxiety. The very act of planning will help clear the clutter of your mind and remove the unconscious stress of not having a clear and identifiable map of when you will be required to spend your energy over the coming days.

Bonus: Write Everything Down

My final tip is to keep an accessible list of things that spring to mind through the day. Whether that’s ideas, things you need to do, reminders about events or engagements etc. Everything. As soon as they come to mind, get them out of your head. Turn them into a physical form in a place you know you will address them later.

Then at a time that works for you go through the list and make them actionable. Either allocate specific time in the future to do it. Delete it if it no longer has an relevance. Add it to a maybe someday folder. Or if you have time and it’s a quick task, do it right now.

This frees up so much mental energy. Knowing that the only thing you need to do is write a quick note and forget about it is liberating.

And then choosing to say yes to a period of time when you will commit to knocking things off that list can have a great effect on your mood and energy levels. With each thing you tick off you can feel the metal shackles loosen.

Over to You

Can you think of any other tips? I would love to hear what you do to recover your social energy. Please leave your response in the comments below.

  1. I am an introvert. I am funny and witty and likes to talk with people but not too long. We had an academic break for a week and I finally had the time to talk to people but that was 2 weeks ago and people still talk to me that I feel obliged to reply. They don’t know I have a social battery that even before, it requires me a week to recharge. To recharge is not really 100% not talking to someone but talking only when its important and necessary. On short, I hate small talks! I need a lot of alone time working out, crocheting, gardening, baking, writing (oh my god you got all my hobbies right!). But recently, I can’t have that much alone time. I deactivated my Facebook so no one could reach out to me but people would message me on IG and such. I can’t have a break! But now I pretty much know what to do. Just say NO.

    1. Hey Angel, thank you so much for your reply to the post. Absolutely feel you with your social battery issues. I share that need for alone time doing the good regenerative activities. It’s so important to use that time in ways that actually recharge the battery – one thing I’ve discovered over the years is that not all alone time has the same impact. I can get drained even alone if I don’t do enough things that bring me joy/creative energy.

      Learning to say ‘no’, especially in ways that feel good to you, is a great idea. Good luck with that endeavour. (P.S. you don’t need to reply back to this comment! 🙂 )

  2. Be intentionally kind to yourself – perhaps in just one or two thoughtful ways. e.g. eat your favourite food, book a trip to a great place (or just go there), watch your favourite box set, have a bath, buy some new music…whatever feeds your soul and tends to your heart. Love your work Andy, spot on, as always.

  3. I so recognise this! There’s one thing that I always find very calming too and that is being alone, no distractions and just silence…. Even if it’s just for a couple of minutes a day.

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