But I’m Not Allowed to Question That! (A Virtual Retreat into Being, Becoming, and Belonging)

During this month’s Virtual Retreat we are letting go of ideas, stories, and objects that we feel an obligation or pressure to hold. Things that have become heavy and limiting. Diminishing our ability to nurture the life we desire at the soul (not ego) level.

There are so many normalised and expected approaches to life, which actually take us away from truly becoming and belonging as individuals. Many of us don’t feel like we can even question these things. Some of them are so ingrained that we have never even asked considered the possibility that they are questionable in the first place.


This retreat is a chance to raise awareness, to ask ourselves questions, and to open up to the possibilities. That we can choose to let go of the stuff that keeps us from being, becoming, and belonging. And choose to pick up the things that we actually want instead.

Being – embracing gratitude, acceptance, and peace with where we are and what we have. Letting go of the ego idea that there is something missing and that we must constantly do things to prove our value and worth.

Becoming – recognising that we get to set the intentions and choose the direction we take our lives. Letting go of the expectations others have that we will squeeze into their plans and ideas of who we should be.

Belonging – understanding the deep sense that we are enough, just as we are. And that we don’t have to prove anything to anyone in order to be accepted and belong. Letting go of the prison that we are ‘here for a reason’, and that we need to ‘uncover our purpose’.

Peace and Release

There are two sides to this vision. On the one hand it’s about becoming free from our own voice. Releasing ourselves from the message that we are not good enough, we need to be different, and try harder to fix things.

And on the other hand, it’s about releasing ourselves from the message that things won’t or can’t truly change. So that we can step into an open space of possibility. Recognising the power that we have in ourselves to pick up the pieces we choose to collect. To nurture the dreams that mean the world to us. And to design life in such a way that it reflects who we are at that deeper soul level. Beneath the noise, under the stories, and beyond the messages that constantly tell us to tear ourselves away from ourselves.

There are so many things that we end up clinging tightly to. Ideas, stories, conventions, and ways of doing things, that take us away from the choices we would make for our lives if we felt able to. As introverts and highly sensitive people, there might be sabotaging people pleasing tendencies, and a desire to avoid conflict and confrontation. A desire to go with the flow and keep the peace, which can have many benefits, but can also drive this sense of disconnect between the life you would love and the life that you have.

Redress The Balance

The retreat is aimed at helping you reflect on that distinction. When things you hold onto go from serving who you are and the values you want to nurture, to holding and controlling you. To the point where you lose your self-worth, confidence, and sense of connection to the life you have slipped into tolerating, coping with, or simply trying to survive.

It’s time to let go of the idea that this is what life is about. It’s not something to tolerate, put up with, or survive. But rather something to enjoy, create, and explore.

This week we are thinking about how to let go of…

Busyness

We attach to the story that busyness is something to celebrate and encourage. But what if it was actually a sign that something has gone seriously wrong somewhere along the line?

Offence

If we want space to grow, then we have to have space to fail. Growth only occurs when we feel safe to risk and fall flat on our face. In a highly-offendable world, we hold tightly to offence in all its forms, imprisoning ourselves and others, and putting the brakes on creativity and connection.

Perfectionism

If we release ourselves from the ‘Room for Improvement, we can step into the Palace of Good Enough. This is where we can untether from the outcome, and embrace flow. We become free from the results, and connected to the joy of being.

Criticism

Some of the most derailing and destructive critical comments come to us dressed as well-intentioned bits of advice. We hold tightly to such words, and become slaves to ways of doing and being that don’t align with our own authentic desires or preferences.

Success

We often want to run before we can even stand. We wish our lives away by holding too tightly to what we believe success means. Attaching to where we see other people. Or we look back and wonder if we’ve already peaked and that there’s no way to follow the success of the past. But what if we let go of our fears around success, and embraced the enjoyable truth that there is no destination…there is only the next step.

Victimhood

We all live in different prisons. Each of us finds ourselves constrained by certain things more than others. And the way to freedom from our sense of victimhood points us down a variety of paths. Some of us give up on things too quickly whereas some of us are unable to let go. Some of us might hold onto grudges like they’re going out of fashion, while others of us let people walk over us like a doormat.

Certainty

When our attachment to certainty becomes a need to control, it stops us from seeing the world with healthy perspective. It allows us to dehumanise people, placing ideology ahead of humanity. And it tells us that we can find concrete solutions for things that are innately fluid, complex, nuanced, and messy.

A Virtual Hangout

During August and September I am running a few virtual sessions on Zoom. If the retreat themes strike a chord with you, this is a chance for you to go deeper. It gives us time to explore the themes that resonate most with you.

We spend the time asking what letting go would make possible, what holds us back from releasing these things in our lives, and then consider some of the possible ways we could begin releasing the grip of this stuff that stops us from living life in a way that resonates with our inner rhythms, inner voices, inner spirit.

These sessions are available for free to anyone in The Haven. The doors are open during August, and these events are included in the free two-week trial.

Learn more here: https://the-haven.co/join

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like