What does it mean to feel at home?
I recently came across a lovely description of home: it’s a place we can never see with a stranger’s eyes for more than a moment.
We become deeply connected to home and this can happen extremely quickly, not just in the place you call home.
When I was a child I noticed the key to feeling at home in an unfamiliar place (like when you’re on holiday or staying somewhere different) It feels weird until you come back to it for the first time. I always make a point of taking a trip early on so that I can come back to the place I’m staying. Then it feels familiar and is easier to settle in.
Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling.
Over the past few months I’ve been re-discovering my deep passion and connection with music. As I’ve been writing and recording new music for the first time in a long while I have realised it truly is my home.
The most remarkable thing about home is that you don’t really notice it. It’s so usual and normalised that it requires no brain power to notice it. It is often remarkable because it feels so unremarkable to you. It’s where you can truly be who you truly are. There is no pretence, you’re not trying to prove anything to anyone, you’re not trying to make sense of how it’s put together. You just step in through the door and feel at peace to be who you are.
The true way to discover your home is to come back to it.
You can only come back if you first step away for a while.
For me the distraction from music as I built Sheep Dressed Like Wolves, The Haven, and took on a consistent and reliable day job (removing any financial burden on my music) has been an important trip.
These have been vital in giving me a platform to better understand myself, connect with some amazing people, and ultimately realise that my true home will always be writing music. As I wander back through the streets I can feel my music calling me home.
It’s where I’m comfortable (in a good way).
It’s where I bring my experience of the world and just rest, reflect, and explore what I’ve noticed.
And I’ve learned that I shouldn’t overthink it or pressure myself with the ‘shoulds’ and expectations that provide smoke and mirrors around the creative process. It’s simple. It’s become about nothing more than writing music again.
When Ayrton Senna was asked about the driver he most enjoyed racing he had an interesting response:
“I would have to go back to ’78, ’79 and 1980, when I was go-kart driving and was team mate to Fullerton…it was pure driving, pure racing. There wasn’t any politics then, right? And no money involved either. So it was real racing and I have that as a very good memory.”
This is home. The pure core when all is stripped away. The reason we started in the first place.
Sometimes we need to let go of stuff in order to get a better grip. When you’re carrying something heavy or awkward there comes a time when you have to put it down in order to pick it back up again in a new way or with a new grip. Perhaps it needs turning slightly or flipping completely. Maybe you need to get it from beneath rather than holding it from the top.
Perhaps you need to ask for help, or even let go permanently.
Over to You
Question: What do you feel most at home doing? I’d love to hear what you think, please leave a comment below.