Where do you find the confidence you need to do the things you want to do?
How do you create it?
These are questions that affect all of us on some level. It is one of the biggest struggles when it comes to stepping up to do what it is we dream of doing with our lives. In fact it begins before that.
Confidence is a key ingredient when it comes to the very act of identifying what we dream of doing in the first place. This is where it starts. We need confidence to dream, to imagine, to desire.
You need confidence to be audacious enough to make something happen. It all starts with giving yourself permission to dream, which itself requires confidence.
Sometimes the idea of finding confidence can itself be dispiriting. We look at others and wish we could be like them.
The truth is we can lack confidence because the thing we want to do truly matters to us. We believe we need to be confident in order to start. But that’s a fallacy. We will create the confidence once we make the decision to start.
Confidence is created bit by bit, drip by drip.
We run away from things because we don’t know what we’re doing and we lack confidence. And actually the only way to get the confidence is to step into our fear and create confidence by acting despite it.
Jeff Fisher said, “discipline is doing what you really don’t want to do so you can do what you really want to do”.
The habits involved in creating confidence are much they same. We must step into The Flinch despite our strong instincts to sink back and run away. Knowing what we want to do makes it easier to do the thing we don’t want to do in order to do it.
While discipline is the hard graft of doing something painful or monotonous in order to acheive a desired outcome, building confidence is about embracing the flinch/momentary fear of a situation and acting anyway. It’s a habit and doesn’t just happen by magic.
What area do you want to improve? Where could you do with a bit more confidence?
- Speaking Up
- Participating in a Community
- Building Relationships/Networking with Strangers
- Performing or Speaking in Public
- Sport or exercise
It’s important to know what we’re trying to do so that we can really focus on creating little goals and small steps within them.
In this episode of the podcast I look at how we can become intentional about developing habits and routines so that we can use the everyday opportunities we have to create more confidence.
- Be Aware of Opportunities
- Identify the next Important Thing
- Raise Your Awareness of the Flinch
- Use Self-Talk to Reassure and Encourage Yourself
- Record Your Successes
- Become truly present in your own way
There are no quick fixes when it comes to creating confidence. It’s not an event, it’s a habit. There is no confidence diet that you can go on that will leave you confident about everything in four weeks. And this is what I love about this topic.
It’s a journey that never ends. An eternal experiment where we are in control of developing small successes and building up our portfolio of confidence.
It’s a habit, not a person. It ebbs and flows, and most importantly it’s a struggle that we ALL engage in.
I have created a Patreon page for the podcast. This allows you to communicate your support for the show and encourage me to remain consistent in the creation of this content and in constantly seeking to take it to the next level. I am so incredibly thankful to those of you who continue to listen every week and for those of you decide to show your support by becoming a Patreon supporter (list of supporters here).