How do I continue pursuing my dreams when there are people in my life who make my dreams and me feel small and naive?
This is a question I hear a lot and so I wanted to explore it in this episode of the podcast.
Do you find it difficult to articulate your life’s dream(s)? Maybe you find it hard to even openly acknowledge the fact that you have goals or desires?
There is something inside me that pulls me back from admitting that there are things that I would love to see and have happen in my life. It’s like I know that the moment I acknowledge and articulate my hopes and dreams I then have a responsibility for either making them happen or making them fail.
It’s easier to be unintentional about your goals because eventually a major part of transitioning from abstract dream to concrete reality that you are actively working towards is communication. Telling people. And a big part of that process involves answering questions and processing the response of the other person.
This is really hard, especially when you don’t have it all figured out.
Who Needs Enemies…
Some people like to point out everything that is wrong with your plan. They like to belittle, and tell you exactly why you are going to fail, sometimes without even consciously meaning to.
They have talent for being able to pick you apart at the seams until you reach the point where you just want to give up. Another one consigned to the pile of dreams that never made it off the paper.
There is a time at the start when the details don’t matter, we all need this phase, we must embrace it.
You need to dream big, in blobs of abstract colour. You can see the beautiful destination in the distance. That’s where you want to be. Maybe it’s your dream job, a hobby that you want to do, a change or habit you want to implement, a challenge you want to face, a fear you want to overcome.
This is the time of unfaltering belief in and acceptance of the possibility. You lay everything else aside, the details and the ‘but what ifs’. They are not welcome.
Only, because the balloon is burst by the negative and belittling words of others, we don’t often make it through this phase.
But your dream is like a song. It needs to be lived and crafted so that it can be shared.
So in this show I talk about 7 truths that are worth understanding so we can lessen and hopefully reject the impact of belittling, invalidating, or patronising words:
- Nobody Else Sees the World As You Do
- Your Feelings and Dreams are Real
- Your Experience is Unique
- They Don’t Know If You Don’t Tell Them
- The World is Far Bigger than One Person
- You are Capable of A Lot More Than You Realise
- This is a Test
I mentioned in the episode Joanna Moore’s course Self Esteem DIY: How to Start Liking Yourself.
She describes it as “the manual you were never given. It’s a step-by-step course that will help you to get to know and like yourself, so you can become the happy, healthy, and confident you you’ve always dreamed of being. Whether it’s your nose, your shyness, or your inability to say ‘no’ that drives you mad, DIY Self-Esteem will help you see that, actually, you’re kind of alright”. Check it Out.
Image Credit: Pie In The Sky designed by Luis Prado from the Noun Project