We’ve all experienced criticism, none of us find it easy. It is something that can really affect introverted and highly sensitive people, and if allowed to prevail it can have damaging consequences.
In this episode I introduce some ways of reframing and coping with criticism.
Whatever choices you make, whatever you attempt to do, even if you decide you’re going to hide away and do nothing, it’s safe to say someone is going to judge you for it. It’s a part of life. I learned the hard way how important it is to be specific about the kind of feedback we want when we ask for it. Find out more about that in this week’s episode.
Being aware that we all experience criticism, regardless of what we do doesn’t necessarily make it any easier when people find fault in what we do. But it is important to consider the context of it, and to remember that often it comes as a projection of critics own fears and insecurities.
It can certainly be useful to frame the words and judgements that we must deal with through a new lens. Not simply taking it as a personal attack that our ego can latch onto and beat us up with too.
The Biggest Critic:
The biggest critic in our lives is usually staring back at us in the mirror. And oddly enough hearing other people criticise us can often act as a catalyst of permission to jump on board and start beating yourself up.
Our biggest challenge and stumbling block if often not external. It’s not found in other people who stand in our way and tell us we’re not good enough. Rather, it’s our own vulnerability, doubt, fear, uncertainty that is simply reinforced and given permission to manifest when we hear external criticism.
But we should remember the Ethel Barrett quote: “we would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.”
According to research by Roy Baumeister at Florida State University it takes about five positive events to make up for one negative events. He found that even happy people tend to remember more negative events than positive ones.
This is an apparent feature of human evolution, and worth bearing in mind. The way we perceive things in our own heads will seem worse than they are, especially if we the balance is five positives to one negative.
In this episode I explore five things that we should do if we want to step beyond criticism when it comes our way.
1. Stop Focussing On The Negative
2. Accept You Can’t Please Everyone
3. Refocus on Your Way
4. Don’t Respond Like for Like
5. Don’t Become Negative and Critical
As you may have seen, on the 1st June the Sheep Dressed Like Wolves Member’s Area is officially launching. It’s an area for gentle rebels to get together, explore a monthly theme and help one another Live with Passion, Purpose, and Patience in a World that We can find overwhelming.
In the first month we are going to be exploring the idea of building a life and a living around multiple interests.
The introductory price is just £7 a month to join. You can cancel at any time, and once you subscribe then the price you sign up at is the price you pay forever (until you cancel your subscription). Get involved here from the 1st June. It will be really great to see you in the membership, and to build this community together, shaping it around your needs, goals, and dreams.
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